My brain says no but my pants say off.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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