This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
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girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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