why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
bring money and cleavage
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
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i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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