im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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