I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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