your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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