Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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