It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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