Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Text me some of your sweat
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