so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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