checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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