is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's Friday. Sex?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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