On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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