It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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