If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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