Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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