I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Verdict: uncircumcised.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize