No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize