well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
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Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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