The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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