I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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