I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A bitchslap is in order.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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