We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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