So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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