the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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