I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize