I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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