does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Houston, we have a blender
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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