Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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