he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
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i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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