Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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