lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize