I just pynch a tree in the face
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
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Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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