I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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