So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize