Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize