I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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