Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize