Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize