apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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