There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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