operation harelip BJ is a go
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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