its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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