Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize