She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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