the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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