my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize