I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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