sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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