By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do you still have your period?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize