I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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